A Tale of Kingdoms Yore
by Imperial Mutt
Summary: "Mother had always told me that if I actually put effort into my work, it'd take me places. Little did I know, at that time, that just one promotion would change my life forever." Two Kingdoms hold a heated grudge against one another. Will they be able to set aside their differences for the hope of the future? Medieval AU, Shikamaru's POV.
1. Beauteous, is she not?

****Here's my first (published) fanfic! Never thought this day would come! And what's this? A multi-chapter story? Ohoho!

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own Naruto or its characters.

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**Chapter 1: Beauteous, is she not?**

I awoke to the whisper of the trees protesting against the lovely breeze that had gently brushed against their rich green leaves. A peaceful scene, if there had ever been one; much better than waking up to ear-splitting screams, or a chilly bucket of water, like I was accustomed to.

Resting my eyes for a few moments more, I filled my lungs full of pure forest air, half-heartedly determined to shake the weight from sleep off my chest. I actually had things to do today, people to see.

Cracking my eyes open, my optics slid to a familiar, weary old sundial that had resided here since before my time. I traced the ancient design carved into the stem of the structure that, even though worn beyond recognition, never failed to capture my interest, my curiosity.

Every time I looked at it, I felt as if I was staring at a window through time. I'd asked where it'd come from before, but no one _alive_ in the kingdom knew, nor cared. In the end, I had to tell myself (a harder task than what I lead it on to be, might I add) to leave it be. To let it remain a lost piece of history.

Slowly I brought myself out of my ponderings, and dragged my gaze up to the dial's face to read the shadow's position...

Thirty-seven after five.

I cursed, pulling myself quickly off the heavenly grass to jog back towards the kingdom's gates.

Late yet again. Out of all the previous events I had been late to, this one would definitely take the cake. And that was an understatement.

I slowed my pace as the large wall surrounding the village came into view. Evening my breath, I quickly ran through all the possible excuses I could use in order to save myself from too severe of a beating, which would undoubtedly be delivered by the demon woman I have the pleasure to call my mother.

The wall's guards looked after me with amused smirks as neared the wall. I did my best to remain nonchalant, but their stifled laughter did nothing to help. They simply let me pass without a word; just glittering eyes and wide smiles. I held back a scowl, entering the town at exactly 134 excuses in.

Quickly, I set out on the path that would take the least time to get to my destination (something that is rather rare for me to do). The townsfolk and merchants that still littered the roads occasionally gave me congratulations and grateful nods as I passed.

Despite already being late, I paused for a moment. Had my work really been that fantastic that everyone in the kingdom knew of it, and were openly grateful?

"Oi! Shikamaru!" a friendly voice called out to me, "I've been looking all over for thee! We were about to send a search party,"

Pushing my thoughts back into the depths of my mind, I turned to find a familiar, taller, heavier man with brown hair neatly tied back into a braid for tonight's occasion. I shot my best friend an exasperated look, "Chouji, prithee, I'm already going to get an earful from my mother..."

He just grinned back down at me, "Well, ye should've thought of that before ye slept away the beginning of thy ceremony, huh?"

I groaned, not even bothering to ask how he knew I had overslept. The man just knew me. "Doth ye thinketh she'll figure it out?" I asked with a growing feeling of dread.

The larger man shrugged, not bothering to voice what I already knew.

"Troublesome," I muttered under my breath, earning a chuckle from my companion.

As we moved to walk again, I cast him a sideways glance, which he returned knowingly. But, just as he opened his mouth to speak—

"Good e'en, thy late-iest of ones!" A rather unwanted knight decided to grace us with his presence.

I frowned, turning to find a particularly sly looking Kiba prancing up to us. "Good eventide, sirrah." I returned his greeting in clear, sarcastic monotone.

"So I take it ye have caught word of thy special advancement in thy studies?" the dog-lover inquired, mischief dancing about in his eyes.

What was he getting at? Of course I knew I was getting a promotion of sorts, thanks to my master strategy to boost the kingdom's trade (which was incredibly simple really), and ultimately it's economy. That's what this whole ceremony, _which I was still late to, _was about. Something was up...

"Aye, Kiba." I said slowly, as if speaking to a child (and doing my best to ignore the feeling of oncoming dread), "That's where we be headed... The ceremony."

Kiba immediately brightened; probably proud of himself for knowing something Konoha's genius did not. "I see! I best not reveal the secret to ye now, but I'll go ahead and tell ye to have fun t'night!" he said with a wink, sporting an alarming grin.

Before I could question the "secret", the brute had already scampered off with that cheesy grin of his.

Chouji voiced my thoughts, "I wonder what that was about..."

We continued down our path not soon after, but in double the time. By the time we reached our destination, I had already heard the excited chatter of the guests and graceful melodies of the court musicians.

The castle, where my ceremony was being held, was one of the most beautiful sights of our kingdom, only coming in second to the great mountains that featured our kingdoms past rulers by face. Tonight, however, the castle's festive décor glowed with, dare I say, even more beauty than that of the mountains that bordered the kingdom to the east.

Colorful paper lanterns hung from streamers above our heads, illuminating the growing darkness as the sun set in brilliant shades of pink and orange, and vibrant arrays of Konohian flowers were gathered in everyplace imaginable. This I thought with a smirk. Another one of my good friends, Ino (flower enthusiast, or florist, she gave herself the silly title of), surely had something to do with this.

My brain was already beginning to get a bit dizzy from excitement (a rather new experience for me), and I hadn't even been inside yet.

Swiftly, I marched towards a side entrance of the castle, finding myself being attracted to the radiating warmth of inside like a moth to light. But, I was destined to be stopped short again.

"Shikamaru," a woman to my left hissed. The very sound of her voice made my heart dive into the acidy bath of my stomach. "Where hath thou been?"

I gulped, deciding to tell my mother the truth. The woman had it out for me, whether I was her son or not. I was only lucky that we were in public (where she had to act like a proper woman: **obedient**), or I'd already have braved a beating. Konoha, fortunately for me (at times...), was a strictly patriarchal society. While women were to be respected, they had absolutely no say against the will of men. Unless, of course, their father or husband backed them up...

And my father was whipped.

"Mom, It twas not anything to worry about," I answered a bit too quickly, "I had just accidentally fallen asleep in the woods, that is all."

Her eyes seemed to catch fire, like a book of old tales had described a witch's doing after Holy Water had been splashed up in them. "Thou fellst victim to slumber on the _woods, _Shikamaru?" she whispered venomously.

I cringed, trembling like a young girl on the inside. Her yelling was no where near as terrifying as this.

"They calt thou a genius," she continued, with twice as much malice, "And thou hast risked thy health for a nap, _in the woods_, Shikamaru." I really wished she'd stop using my name. "What was going through thy head? Thou could have been robbed! Or worse! What would thou have done if a band of pudh Sunarians came along to scalp thee?! Thou knowest of their wickedness!"

I had broken out into a sweat by now. Yes, I knew the dangers of being outside the kingdom walls, and I had blatantly ignored them. My throat already drying up, I opened my mouth to... well, I wasn't quite sure. But before I was given the time of day (or night, as it was now), a jolly figure strolled up to us and took me by the arm.

"There y'are, lad!" the king of Konoha boomed, "Ye've been holding up the party!" He then seemed to notice my mother, before surprising me with, "If thou doth not mind, ma'am," (A normal man would have simply excused the one(s) in which a woman was speaking to, not ask for their permission. The king should be one least of all to care about such things.)

My mother gave him a stiff, jerky nod, forcing a smile, "Not at all, your majesty."

With that as our parting words, the ivory-haired man pulled me off into the castle, his home, in order to move on with the ceremony, looking especially pleased with himself.

As we made our way through the crowd, the ceremony, I concluded, wasn't truly a ceremony, but a party. I was far from shocked. Knowing the kings tastes, god bless him, as being almost solely women (namely curvy ones, ages 18 and up...), I should have almost expected to find the castle's own private brothel hosting the whole circus.

I, on the other hand, actually had little interest in women. Sure, their pale skin, as white as the moon, some would say, was pretty. Their hair was exceptionally soft, at times. But, really, they were nothing to obsess over.

However, my lack of enthusiasm towards the opposite sex did not go unnoticed. I don't think I'll ever live down the day when my father asked if I was queer. 'It's a sin!' my mother had ranted, ignoring my protests. 'Mom, I promise, I am not interested in men!' I hadn't even bothered arguing with her religious views, as pointing out the fact that I saw nothing in The Bible (her choice of holy book) that stated homosexuality was wrong would only further convince her that I was gay.

Right now, though, I could care less about women. Eventually, I planned, I would find a nice, quiet, and obedient woman (the opposite of my mother, down to the last detail), who would bore me two children: first a girl, and then a boy. And the rest would be history.

The rapping of an expensive silver spoon against a bronze goblet pulled me away from my thoughts.

"With great pleasure, I, King Jiraiya the First, will announce the reason I hath brought ye all here today." Jiraiya announced, hushing the crowd almost instantly. "I'm sure thou alt knoweth of this man's good doings," he motioned towards me, his eyes sparkling with pride. "And of how he hath increased our kingdom's trade by tenfold-" Exactly 13.23 times the original amount, I stopped myself from correcting him, "And ultimately led our fair Kingdom of Konoha into a prosperous, celebratory state."

A few, evidentially premature, cheers echoed about the palace walls.

The man then looked directly towards me, clapping me on the shoulder, "For this, I, and Konoha, would like to thank him in some way more than just a pay raise..."

"With great honor, I would like to announce that, this man, Shikamaru Nara, hath now been placed as head captain of all things traded in this fair kingdom, and will _personally_ be accompanying our caravans in the upcoming month to the richest city known to man, Kizoku!"

Now was the correct time for the crowd to celebrate. Corks from tightly sealed bottles of wine popped left and right, glasses clanked together excitedly, and an occasional hat was thrown up into the air. I was somewhat startled, albeit pleasantly. But, it didn't seem like Jiraiya was finished speaking quite yet.

"Considering all of his contributions to his kingdom," the king spoke again; hushing the crowd once more, "I felt that perhaps even a promotion wasn't quite enough..." he signaled to a few knights towards the back, whom, with a quick nod, scurried into another room of the castle. "So, in order to fully thank our lad, I have arranged for a special gift to be delivered this night..."

Slowly, the crowd turned around, their attention obtained by four knights, lightly armored (out of mockery, I found out later), dragging in a fiery, fighting, rope-bound figure with large bouts of laughter.

Upon closer inspection to the snarling, leashed creature, I nearly felt my heart stop all together.

Smooth bronze skin, shimmering with the sweat of fruitless efforts, molded to every muscle, every curve of the mesmerizing, definitely female, beast whom glared in righteous protest to the villagers who gaped at her in awe, or more from the women, disgust.

But I hardly noticed them.

I focused, instead, on the simple, but flowing, white silk dress that hid the rest of her sun-kissed body from me, which, by the redness of the tips of my ears, I found myself helplessly ogling. I imagined what the snowy, sorry excuse for clothing hid beneath its mischievous threads, what it would be like to easily brush the straps aside and let it slip to the floor... leaving her body bare; revealing all of her heavenly, yet undoubtedly sinful pleasures to me.

Only me, I thought possessively.

I immediately averted my eyes and turned to cough, ashamed with myself. While every other man in the kingdom probably wouldn't have bothered with a second thought (Jiraiya was giving me a woman. A drop-dead _sexy_ woman. Why not take advantage of any carnal activities she had to offer? After all, she was of the weaker sex; her say in the matter would be ignored happily...) I, on the other hand, had never felt this much, ahem, _stimulation_ when it came to the world of females.

I barely registered that Jiraiya was now booming with prideful laughter, jabbing me in the ribs playfully, and half-whispering, "She is most beauteous, is she not? Can I pick 'em, or can I pick 'em?"

I swallowed hard, smiling nervously, and carefully looking anywhere but her. I was afraid that if I did...

A particularly generous growl from her direction brought my optics back to her in a flash, finding that one of the knights had tugged a rope in such a way she was thrown violently to her knees.

I no longer could keep my eyes away, for the pain of tearing them was much greater than the pain of yearning to look. Tracing her golden, tousled hair (by the looks of it, may have been one time pulled up into a neat bun), slicked with sweat to the point where it stuck to her face, I found her eyes.

... I was a goner.

Two pools of liquid sapphires mixed a spontaneous explosion of emeralds glared directly up at me, with the intensity of one thousand wars, bright and full of intelligence, along with vehement fury... hate.

With every labored breath upon her chest, with every curl of her lip, I felt my heart leap further into my throat, as if it wanted to escape my cowardly body and rush to steal away her own.

"Alright, alright," to my displeasure, the king's voice faded in, "Go ahead and take the wench to this lad's chambers. We can't have him galloping off with her just yet,"

The knights did as they were told, plucking her from the ground by the back of her dress, and marching her out of the castle, and to, I figured, my 'chambers'. Never once, until she completely vanished from my sight, did she break her concentration in her death glare towards me.

I swallowed, trying to rid the lump from my throat.

'Hell hath nay fury like a woman scorned', I remembered one of the weaker men of the village telling me once.

Actually, I had most likely heard it from my father...

The rest of the night continued on with an amazing lack of speed, but jovial fun, nonetheless.

However, through the whole experience, predictably, only one thing was on my mind.

Unfortunately, my mind had left the usual shelter of my cranium to pay a long awaited visit to my nether regions.

Back-stabbing bastard...

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Surprise! Konohians speak Old English! If you couldn't easily translate it yourself, just run a quick google search.

Chapter 2 should be up sometime soon. Also, don't get discouraged if I don't post for a _long_ time. I promised myself I would never leave an unfinished story posted, as many of them littering this site bother me so...

Any kind of review is much appreciated.


	2. Fare thee well!

A big thank you to those who reviewed; I really appreciate it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto'n stuff.

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**Chapter 2: Fare Thee Well!**

The "ceremony" had lasted a bit longer than I originally anticipated. My parents had already gone home, Jiraiya's festivities being a bit much for them after a while. I couldn't blame them. I myself had tried to leave early several times prior, only to be caught by the arm for another round of embarrassing stories whilst the crowd drank.

Fortunately, thanks to my abundant intelligence, I managed to escape back into the now quiet streets of the village, taking an even-paced route home. The sun has long since gone down. The streets were lit with string after string of orange paper lanterns that illuminated the streets with the softest of glows. I could almost _feel_ the village itself yawn.

Normally, my own emotions would mirror that of the village's at this state. Utterly tired and completely ready to slip between my sheets and curl into the comforts of my bed. But tonight was different. There was the high possibility that someone else was already occupying said domain. And I, now realizing how uneducated I was in this field, had absolutely no idea what to do about it. For what could possibly be the first time in my life, I was a nervous wreck.

I hadn't noticed how sweaty my palms were until my hand came in contact with the cool, wood door of the entrance of my home. I stopped to take a deep breath, before slowly pushing the door open, doing my best to be quiet for my, most likely, sleeping parents. To calm my nerves a bit, I cleared my throat and announced softly to no one, "I'm home."

To my surprise, I received an answer, "Come hither, Shikamaru." I looked to the left to find my mother in the kitchen, fussing over some dishes. Gulping, I obediently marched into the kitchen, hoping she wasn't going to finish what she started earlier today.

For a while, I stood awkwardly behind her, staring at her back as she thoughtfully scrubbed an already well over-clean frying pan. She had made no move to acknowledge she knew I was here, nor one that had shown she didn't. The silence was overbearing, but this time it was not because I was terrified of her.

No, because if she had wanted to beat the snot out of me, she would have already.

Now I was curious.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when she quickly wheeled around and grasped me firmly by the chin, squinting her eyes in a scrutinizing manner. "Thou looketh pale," she deadpanned, in a suspicious tone, "Did thou drink at ye ceremony?"

I coughed, "Nay, mother, of course not."

"Then why art thee the color of a sickly moon?" she raised her voice only slightly, as to not wake dad up, I supposed.

To answer this honestly, though, could lead to potential homicide. I averted my eyes, now unable to keep them level to hers. How could I have answer her? Luckily, or unluckily, depending on how one looked at it, it turned out I wouldn't have to.

She released my chin, and with surprising softness, she voiced my thoughts for me, "Shikamaru... about that..." she seemed to be fishing for any other word besides 'wench', "Maiden," she settled on, albeit a bit distastefully. "... I know King Jiraiya 'gave her to you' for ... _specific festivities,_"

I forced myself to look at her again.

This was my mother; the woman whom I have feared and, at times, despised since birth. And she was not yelling at me. Not beating me with her unnaturally sparkly frying pan. Not complaining how much of a pig the king was. No, she was here, attempting to give me a heart-to-heart talk.

I hate to admit it, but my heart broke just the tiniest bit seeing her so... soft. It was as if I _wanted_ her to give me a nice lump on my head.

Before I could stop myself, I reached out and pulled her into a hug. I knew what she wanted to say. "Mom," I looked down at her with serious eyes, "By my troth, she will not be forced to do anything she does not wish to do."

As her signature frown returned, I could feel her normal self come back as well. Well, it was sweet while it lasted...

"Son, whether she wishes to do _anything_ or not is unimportant," She took me by the shoulders sternly, "I expect ye to do as I taught thee. Ye are not to dishonor this clan!"

I smiled weakly and repeated, "By my troth." It was only natural that my fear returned along with her normal persona.

She eyed me for the last time, before patting my cheek none too lightly, and muttering, "Good."

Wordlessly she brushed past me, blowing out candles as she went.

"Good night, mother..." I called softly after her, as sarcastic as my fear would allow me.

Not long after she was gone, I followed suit.

I blamed the creaky wooden floors for causing me to be so jumpy, but I knew it was far from the truth. Every step I took felt like a milestone, like I was crossing a bridge and I would never be able to return to the other side. Slowly I made my way to my bedroom door, aided by my blindly searching hands in the dark.

I took another a moment to stop and breath, trying to calm the shaking hand that was currently rattling the knob. With one last breath of courage, I entered.

My room was bathed in the moonlight of an open window. My eyes found her instantly.

She was positioned in between the shadows and the moonbeams, her white dress illuminated to a ghostly glow where the moonlight touched. Her appearance was so much softer in the moonlight, more mysterious, in stark contrast to what it appeared to be in the castle: restless and rough.

I swallowed, realizing I had been rudely staring again, and tried my best to survey the **situation**, and not her.

A tough feat, but somehow I managed.

My optics, and logic, told me she had been busying herself with something before I had stepped in. Now, though, she had jerked her head up, immediately stopping her progress.

It did not take long for her to recover.

"Do you beasts not even knock?!" she asked in outright fury.

"K-knock?" I stuttered, caught off balance by both her language and her deep voice. I'd never heard a woman with such low vocals before... "My apologies madam, I..." I searched for the words, but my dry mouth was simply telling me to clam up.

She snorted (a very unfeminine thing to do), "Filthy, no-good, spoiled-rotten..." as her insults added to one-another, a shiny object caught my eye. A glint that was terribly close to her hand...

As she cursed away, I, tentatively, stepped closer to inspect further. She looked like she had been tied up (none to delicately) previous to being thrown into my 'chambers'; by the knights from earlier, I'd wager. But what was the silver that had gleamed up at me before?

With sudden realization, I looked to my stained-oak dresser, and back to her hand.

She was holding my razor-sharp letter opener.

"Pig-headed, son of a..." She paused for a moment to look at me with furious teal eyes, "What are you _staring_ at?!"

I opened my mouth dumbly, but nothing came out.

She scowled up at me, before tracing exactly where my eyes were directed.

"Shit," she hissed, discovering her own mistake. She dropped yelling at me instantly to bit her lip. Her eyes darted from side to side, as if searching for escape. No, that's not right. They _were_ searching for escape.

Unfortunately, for all my intelligence, at that moment all I could think about was that she didn't need to bite her lip; I could do it for her.

Swiftly, in three fluid motions, she took my letter opener and sliced through the ropes, sprung up from her place on my bed, and made to bolt for the window.

I nearly gagged; my tongue apparently deciding that now was a good time to work. "Wait, please! Don't go through the window..." I searched my mind for any possibly excuse, "Ye could rip thy dress!"

She whirled around in such I way I swear she had summoned a tornado in my room. Her beautiful teal eyes glowed up at me against the shadows, like a tigress's who was just about to brutally maul her prey.

Why must I be an idiot sometimes?

"You," she snarled, even baring her pearly-whites at me, "You are lucky that this is your territory to fight on..."

I gulped. She wasn't from around here?

For a brief moment she seemed to cool down, even going so far as to purr at me, "But if fate so happens to join us again," she chuckled menacingly, "No such luck will save you a second time."

With a drop of the hat, she was gone.

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Weeks had passed, with little to no thought of the spit-fire 'maiden'. When asked, I'd simply give the people the impression that I'd let her go out of pity. I didn't want to make a scene over her escaping like she did... who knows how the king might react?

I don't know where they got her, but it was obvious she did **not** volunteer for the role Jiraiya assigned her. Wherever she was now, she was probably happy and free...

But now I was much to busy to dwell on such things; I had a trade route to conduct.

Today was the big day; I was off to Kizoku, along with my village's forty-six neatly organized caravans.

I had already said my goodbyes to my parents and my friends, promising them a souvenir or two along the way. While I was sad to leave them for a month, I was thrilled to _actually leave_ my village.

I had been half convinced, before now, that I'd never see beyond the forests outside the kingdom walls unless I was spontaneously knighted. And that definitely wouldn't have happened, ever.

But here I was, almost as free as a bird...

I looked up from my checklist, eyes scrolling over the rows of oxcarts before me. I had insisted on being in back, as, number one, I didn't know the route as well as most of these merchants, and number two, it was a lot more roomy back there.

Of course, I still needed to get used to dodging all the piles of dung that littered the path...

We had traveled quite a ways by the third day. I had given reasonable amounts of time to rest during the day and at night, and had come to know some of the merchants fairly well.

The landscape now was much different from that of home's, I discovered. There were barely any trees, and the ones that stood looked either dead or dying. The terrain was mostly covered with jagged rocks, dirt, and, most of all, sand.

One of the merchants had told me it wouldn't take long until we left this depressing place and moved onto the tropical paradise of Kizoku.

Speaking of the merchants... I resumed my self-assigned sentry post, scanning over the caravans with a keen eye.

It was oddly quiet... too quiet.

Not soon after the thought, I heard the frantic bleating of a distressed ox, followed by startled cries of men.

Without hesitation, I swiped an axe off the cart in front of me and began to trot to the scene, calling out, "What's wrong?"

...

I never made it.

There was a blow to the back of my head, and everything faded to black.

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And there's chapter two! Did it turn out like you thought it would? I hope I didn't miss too many mistakes when I was revising.

Also, where Temari comes from, Old English is not spoken. For those of you who caught that earlier, I applaud you.

...

Now _riddle_ me this: Am I making the plot too obvious?


	3. Saved by thy Shakespeak

I am in a bit of a rush to get things done before my break is over, so I only scanned over this once for mistakes. Feel free to point any out to me if you find some. ^^

Thanks to my beautiful reviewers again! 3

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**Chapter 3: Saved by thy Shakespeak.**

I groaned, rubbing the back of my head and trying to gather my senses back through bleary eyes. My sense of time was completely messed up; I was utterly unaware of how much time had passed.

But, as it turns out, that was the least of my problems.

I was alone. Everyone, everything... just up and vanished. What had happened to them, after I had been so bluntly torn from the realm of consciousness?

I swiftly scanned the scene. There was no blood. No signs of trouble. I was quick to assume the weather around here had swept all evidence away, along with the sand. "Damn, desert wind..." I grumbled, not surprised to find my mouth deathly parched.

With shaking knees, I attempted to stand, but I was failing miserably. _Water_, my body cried out to me, _water._ Vainly, I searched again for _anything _that was not rock or sand, but what I had found instead made me think I had started hallucinating.

A stray camel, wearing large packs upon his back, along with a symbol I could not recognize; clearly not of Konoha origin. He seemed to be eyeing me from a distance, chewing calmly, as if questioning my actions.

I couldn't be bothered with where he came from, or whom he belonged to. All I cared to register was that this was my last ticket to live. Though questioning his existence out loud would mean certain, brutal death in these times: if a there was an all-mighty deity watching over all living beings as puppets, he seemed to have developed reason to not cut my strings away from me.

I gave up on walking all together, and dropped to my stomach, which immediately squirmed with discomfort against the unrealistic heat. Sand particles seemed to take this as a welcome sign to invade my mouth. Fortunately for them, I hadn't enough saliva to spit them out.

Pinching my mouth shut as to prevent anymore unwelcome visitors, I determinedly drug myself painfully through the searing dunes over to the animal. One forearm over the other, remember to breath, and repeat... Left, right, left, right... I was perspiring more than I ever had in my entire life, using up what little water I had left in my system.

With my last bursts of strength, I thrust myself onto the camel's reign, and clung for dear life. I could no longer feel my lengthy legs, let alone stand on them.

The camel gazed at me, bewildered. After a few more blinks, and a light sniffing of my scalp, he seemed to catch on, and took to dragging me himself across this abyss of death.

Or at least, that's what I had thought he'd been doing, but was not impossible I could have imagined it. I was in such a dreamlike state by that time; I could no longer feel the sun singe my skin, or blind my eyes. The rough, scratching feeling I felt in my throat as I gasped for breath. I could just barely feel the raking of the golden grains across my back, and the resulting sand pooling about my feet, telling me I was indeed moving.

Hours had melted into centuries under this God-forsaken heat, and it only seemed to grow hotter as the day continued. Even with a hazy mind, I was still capable of calculating that it was nearly noon. The knowledge only brought on more dread. The midday sun was bound to be the least merciful of all the sun's positions.

* * *

Very slowly I could feel the desert drinking my strength away, as if it was a thirsty traveler, and I was water that it had chanced upon.

The pain multiplied as my cranium came in contact with a large stone. I hissed through gritted teeth. Was this camel trying to kill me, after I was already half-dead?

I cracked open my eyes, which I'd been squeezing shut for the past two hours or so, to find the beast peering over what appeared to be a neatly stacked collection of rocks. A stony man-made creation, more accurately. It soon became obvious that the structure was too tall for me to be drug over... so why didn't the camel trudge around it?

Over tempted by curiosity, and what might have been hope, I gripped the course surface of the obstacle, grunting in pain as I pulled myself up its wall. But, as fate would have it, I wasn't given the opportunity to find the camel's center of attention.

"Sir? Are you..." familiar, deadly gorgeous teal eyes narrowed with realization, "_You_."

At that point in time, I knew exactly why said deity kept me alive: to watch me suffer.

She spat at me in disgust, "Who do you think you are? You fucking _followed_ me here, didn't you?! And you stole a camel too!"

I winced, not used to hearing such foul language emitted from a woman. Putting that aside though, I couldn't help but noticing she had a very odd way of talking. I had yet to hear her parrot the proper phrases of 'thou' or 'thee'. Pointing that out to her at that very moment, however, wouldn't have been the wisest on my part. And I was one too many feet into the grave already at that point.

Though, another point of interest made itself known as well, given the previous statement. How was I out here, half-dead, and she's perfectly fine? Not only this, but she knew the camel was not mine. She must have recognized the symbols it wore.

Using my voice brought tears to my eyes, but I muscled, like a true man, through the hoarse clawing against my throat as the air passed, and rasped in a plea to her, "My lady, prithee, I meant not to anger thee. Nay, I hath naught followed ye here. Thou see-"

She was having none of that. The woman didn't show an inkling of mercy, even after hearing my sand-paper like voice. "First of all, I am _not_ your 'lady', and I never will be," she reprimanded venomously, "And another thing, drop the damn accent! It's giving me a headache."

Accent? If anyone here had an accent, it wasn't me. Or the camel. Though, when I put my mind to it, it made sense. Foreigners would always sound funny to the natives, and vice versa. But... did that mean she was a native in this awful place? I was only logical, given how well she survived out here, alone.

She seemed to notice his momentary confusion, even if it had a span of half a second. This woman, she was definitely an intelligent one. "Fucking hell, you don't even know you have it, do you?" she scowled at me. Oh yes, she was a very cunning little vixen. Perhaps I'd met my match...

Or had I?

The blonde-haired seductress eyed me, obviously angry with my lack of response. She growled, "You know what? To hell with this. I've warned you once, pretty-boy, and **no one** is special enough to be warned again. This ends now!" With this, she moved to lunge at me.

"Wait!" I cried, the volume tore at my throat, "How about a wager?" I had to act quickly. While a regular woman giving me a death threat would have been simply laughed off, this one certainly meant business. And, if I assumed correctly, which I always do, she wouldn't be able to resist a challenge.

She stopped herself with amazing speed and grace. "A wager?" her eyes narrowed, driving me crazy with how it made my heart beat, mainly because I was unsure if it was fear or something much worse. "What do you have in mind?"

Perfect. Still undefeated in assumptions.

I gulped cringing inwardly as I asked, "May I have some water, first?"

With a roll of those teal eyes, she groaned, "Fine, make it quick."

I was about to ask her for some of hers, but I quickly realized how moronic that would be. She probably would've handed it to me, if she wanted to 'make it quick'. Perhaps she thought there was some within the camel's pouches.

With actively throbbing pain, I pulled myself to look at my life-saver. What I saw surprised the hell out of me. He was drinking out of a bucket suspended from the stone structure I was propped up against.

He had taken me to a well.

I could've kissed him, but I played it off, hopefully convincingly, as knowing the well was there all along. He finished upon seeing me find the bucket, and backed off calmly. At once, I took the bucket and chugged down the remaining contents. At this point, I didn't mind swapping spit with a camel.

I felt rejuvenated almost immediately. It was almost like I had been reborn. Happily gasping for air, now that it no longer hurt my throat, I panted, "Grammarcy, m-" I stopped myself before finishing 'my lady'. Old habits die hard.

"I told you to quit that." She huffed, "Oh never mind, it's not like you can teach an old tree-hugger new tricks. Just get on with it, already!"

Tree hugger? That must have been slang from where she came from for Konohians, I figured. I supposed it made a bit of sense. "Yes..." I paused, searching for a word for her, just as my mother had not too long ago... "Ma'am." I settled on. As the water returned to my brain, so did my vast intellect. "I notice thou art a clever woman," I state, as both a fact and an attempt at sweet-talking persuasion, "How about a battle of wits?"

She smirked, her eyes sparkling gems, "Go on,"

"I'll giveth thee a riddle. Thou mayeth answer once. If thou answer correctly, thou art free to slaughter me as ye wish. If not, thou wilt lead me back to thy village, whilst causing nay harm to me." I finished, coaching myself: If there was one thing I was best at, it was this.

"Fair enough," she holds an air of superiority, "I accept." In the most grotesque action I have ever witnessed a woman to perform; I watched as the she-devil spat on her hand and held it out to me in expectation.

I could easily identify what she wanted me to do, but my own hand was strictly against it. It must be traditional, where she came from... if all of their women do it... _It's not like she's making you sign something with your blood, _I told myself, _it's no big deal._ Braving mysophobia, I repeated her actions and took her hand in mine.

I had wanted to hold it, but never like this.

With a single shake she seemed satisfied and withdrew her hand to wipe it on her dress, the same white one from before, but now obviously tattered and worn. How feminine. I was grateful, however, when I mirrored her action, and wiped the loogie onto my trousers. "Okay," she demanded, "Let's hear it then."

I nodded, feeling more confident myself, "What force and strength cannot get through, with a gentle touch can do. And many in the street would stand, were I not a friend at hand. What am I?"

The woman still looked proud enough, and if I had not unmistakably heard her teeth grit against one another, she would have had me convinced.

I was grateful to know I had stumped for, for at least that time being, but I almost wanted to tell her to stop, as to not chip on of her pretty teeth.

Good Lord, what was she doing to me? I'd never been this... cheesy.

She had put up a good poker-face for a while, before she finally melted under puzzlement. Her brows knitted together, and she turned her face from me to mutter a 'tsk' at the ground. She bit her lip too, like the night in his room. That must be her tell, I figured, the one sign of nervousness or bluffing...

But that didn't make it any less, for lack of better terms, _hot_.

That reminded me...

I took this time to turn back to the well, and reel down the bucket to fill it with water again. Building wells in the middle of deserts... well I suppose they had to get water, somehow. As he was reeling the promisingly heavy bucket back up, I noticed a large stone cover to match with the circular design of the well. That would explain how too much sand, or animals, didn't get into the water... of course, that wouldn't stop the sand from burying the thing completely.

Making a mental note to put the lid back on top, I reached for my fresh bucket of water and promptly threw its contents onto my face. It was absolutely amazing. If I was a raison before, now I was back to being a grape. I was tempted to release my own hair from its low ponytail and shake it free, but I did not in fear of loosing the leather band...

I glanced back at her to just nearly miss catching her looking at me. She turned away quickly, her lip still caught in her teeth. Her hair was no longer up at all; it appeared like she had rid it of all of its pins and bands that had been previously forced upon her. It now framed her face in a wild mess of gold. I absent mindedly wandered if she usually kept it down.

Finally, she answered, in just the slightest falter in her voice (which would have been undetectable to the normal ear), "An invitation."

I had to refrain from sighing in relief.

She was indeed a clever one, and lord she was close, but I knew the ways of wordplay much better than she. Judging by the bitterness rising in her eyes, she had figured this out quickly, as well.

Trying to look not _too_ smug, I corrected her, "A key."

"Well, shit." She cursed without hesitation.

Again with the foul language. She was probably enough to make the drunkards of Konoha blush... before they moved to 'put her back in her place.'

Without another word, the teal-eyed woman snatched up the camel's lead and began marching off in her direction of choice. After replacing the heavy stone with a burst of energy I hadn't known I had, I hopelessly bounded, and unevenly, after her. This woman was so ruthless...

Her lack of pity I could easily handle though, as I was an experienced veteran in that department, thanks to my wonderful mother. Though, there was one thing that was really bothering me (that didn't involve purely physical matters of the 'maiden')...

I didn't know her name.

It was safe to assume she knew where she was going, but I knew she wouldn't come forth with the information I desired upfront if I asked for it. No, I needed to weasel it out of her. "Ma'am," her back straitened at the sound of my voice, most likely in anger. I had taken to walking behind her, for multiple reasons, "Forgive me for being an ass," This one obviously wasn't sensitive like the women at home, to whom he was grateful for the use of profanity only, "But upon my ears thy kingdom's name had naught been laid."

She grumbled in response, without looking back towards me, "You'll see when we get there. You know, you're awful lucky I can understand what you're saying. To a less perceptive mind you'd be singing Latin."

For this, I had to eye her appreciatively (in an more civil way than before). Though they were meant as insults, and she was speaking with her own odd accent, to hear a woman speak in such an educated manner was unheard of, back home. I probably should've stopped comparing them so much.

They are no where near alike.

"Yes, ma'am," I made sure to keep up with the ma'am ordeal. She was sure to hate the word in a matter of seconds. "Then, might I inquire how far away we be?"

"We _are-_" she snapped, seemingly correcting my 'accent', "- a few days away. Four at most..."

We walked in a comfortable silence for a minute or so after this. I could _feel_ her mind unconsciously falling for my 'trap'.

After such contemplation was over, I received what I had been prodding for the whole time, "Temari," she sniffed stiffly, "My name is Temari."

"Temari," I repeated. It tasted of foreign spices on my tongue, somewhat how I imagined her skin would... In an attempt to stop myself from fantasizing (it would be the death of me), I offered her mine, as well, "I'm Shikamaru."

I could see her smirk, even if I couldn't truly see her face. She was inwardly laughing about how Konohian my name was.

Too bad she wouldn't have laughed out loud. I would've loved to hear it.

* * *

The rest of the day's travel was walked in silence. I mostly spent this time trying to avert my eyes from her luscious curves, and studying the sand to my side instead. She was certainly a forbidden fruit, if there had ever been one.

This went on until the sun began setting. The air had begun to cool down, which I was grateful for.

For the first time since we'd set off for her destination, Temari looked back at me. "We'll rest here, for the night." She spoke with finality, motioning over to one of the large rocks we'd been walking past.

I was confused, for a moment. We would be sleeping on a rock?

Upon closer inspection, I found a hole in the surface, one that wouldn't have been discovered by someone who hadn't been looking for it... or hadn't already known of its presence.

After tying the down camel, whom had already slunk down to rest on his stomach, Temari carefully ducked inside, scanning the ground for, I assumed, scorpions, snakes, and the like.

I cautiously climbed in after her, also looking for any dangerous critters who had already claimed the cave as their own. Though, I wasn't quite sure what I would have done if I had found one.

Temari, looking satisfied, gracefully slid onto and stretched out on the floor, like a tigress preparing for a catnap.

She took no notice to my questioning gaze. Or at least, she hadn't shown she had. After her lead, I too, although far less graciously, slunk the floor and prepared myself for resting.

Hopefully, she had meant 'resting' as in sleeping, and not sitting/laying for a while before moving again.

Saying I could really use the rest would be an understatement. It wasn't everyday someone was knocked out, and dragged through the desert by a smelly, spitting brute, only to bump into the one person whom held the most hate for them.

Not that I was complaining.

We laid there for a while, a spacious distance apart; me on my back, and her on her side, back facing me. Her breathing pattern told me she wasn't asleep... just ignoring me.

Temari was quite the master at that.

I dozed in the now comfortable temperature, at first, joyful that I'd finally be able to sleep knowing that I'd definitely wake up _alive_ afterwards.

But, as my luck would always have it, the temperature decreased rapidly as the sun fell.

It didn't take long before my skin broke out in goosebumps, and my muscles involuntarily began to shiver. The natural reactions to being cold.

Perhaps it was natural, as well, to feel the need to shift towards emitters of heat, to retain some of my own. Then again, my body could be looking for excuses to fondle the vixen who relaxed nearby.

Either way, it seemed to agree that cuddling up to the camel outside was _not_ going to happen. If I wanted Temari to gain any respect for me at all, I'd better not openly make myself into a joke. Though, if I wanted respect from her, I'd better show her some myself as well.

By Konoha's standards, I was quite the gentleman. Chauvinism was very popular in these times, and the kingdom of Konoha was no exception... save for the lack of respect for women.

Anyway, this being said, I wasn't about to spoon up against her without saying a word to her. Hell knows I wouldn't have gotten away with it, anyway.

Shifting to my side, I stared at her back with pleading eyes, hoping she'd mention something about body heat herself. Then they'd scoot closer until they were touching, and then awkwardly rejoice in the warmth.

It wasn't long before it became apparent she wasn't going to utter a word. I pushed myself to prod, "Art thou naught cold?"

She chirped clearly, crisply, "Not at all."

I quietly huffed. She was determined to shut me out. Turn me down. She was probably used to the freezing temperatures of the desert at night, anyway. The woman would have no trouble getting to sleep under such conditions. She probably had already, several nights before she had found him at the well. Chances are she was just waiting for me to fall asleep first, before she trusted me enough to sleep as well.

I rolled to my other side, my back facing her own. It was a lost cause.

That night, I learned how cold the desert could really be.

* * *

For those of you that caught it, in the last chapters comments, I apologize for the terrible pun. I meant it to be a hint, but that was a serious question, and thank you to the person whom answered it. :)

Those who've been wanting more action will finally be pleased in the upcoming chapters. Ones who specifically want more Shikamaru-Temari interaction will probably love chapter 4. ;)

That'll be all for now!


	4. Thou art most comical

**Chapter 4: Thou art most comical.**

Though I had nearly frozen to death the previous night, I managed to get some much needed sleep in. I suppose the only reason I was eventually able to rest in the chilly atmosphere was to be credited to my exhaustion.

Gradually I became aware of my surroundings again, a slow re-entering into the conscious state of my mind. Groggily, I opened my eyes and hauled myself up, emitting a chorus of cracks from my back. I was feeling vexingly sore. Cave floors were never the comfiest of places to snooze.

After a nice, satisfying yawn, my eyes drifted to where had Temari slept.

I nearly had a heart-attack in panic.

For the second time in this death trap they called a desert, I'd awoken to being alone and helplessly confused.

Had she decided not to follow through with her side of the deal? Temari had never struck me as that type of woman. I had thought rather highly of her class...

I was on my feet at once, scrambling out of the cave's entrance with a newfound sense of distress. Breathing a bit heavier than normal, I scanned the area for any trace of the blonde-haired temptress.

The sun hadn't even risen yet; it was still to dark for the human eye to decipher its whereabouts at a distance. How would I find her again in this?

"Would you look at that? Seems like someone is finally awake..."

I could have repeatedly hit my cranium into the rock face for all of my embarrassment. There Temari sat, not even two meters away from me, not even sparing me a glance in her 'morning greeting'.

I scratched the back of my neck in shame, muttering quietly, "Good marrow, Temari..."

"Morning." Whether she was returning my greeting or correcting me, I wasn't quite sure.

I had been avoiding eye contact with her (which was quite easy, seeing as see wasn't bothering to find my eyes), until I caught movement in my peripherals. A striking motion.

I couldn't help but look now. From what I could make out in the dark, she was dragging something sharp against a rigid stone, with smooth, angled strokes. I could see tiny white sparks fly from each collision.

My hand slowly slipped from its place on my neck back to my side as my inquisitive side took over. I squinted slightly to try and make out what exactly she was doing... despite the fact that opening them wider to further the dilation of my pupils would have been of more assistance. For my lack of logic, I knew not whether to blame the presence of the woman, or the deprivation of proper bodily care.

Ultimately, I surrendered my attempt and bit, "What art thoust doing?"

This time those intimidating teal eyes left their original place of concentration to meet my confused ones. She seemed to size me up, unflinchingly, as if I had just uttered the most unintelligent thing to ever grace her ears. I suspected this action was brought about by my Konohian accent...

After an uncomfortable minute or so, she answered in a criticizing tone, "What does it look like? I am sharpening this stone for a spear. I know not when you have last eaten, but _I_ have gone for long enough."

I felt a twinge of guilt upon hearing this. I don't know how exactly she had fallen into the hands of Konoha's king, but it was obvious they did not treat her... honorably. At the time, though, I was far too afraid to ask how exactly she wound up in such a predicament, and what events took place once there.

Luckily, she filled the silence before I worked up the stupidity to, "Your people do hunt, do they not? ...or do they strive weakly off the vegetation?"

I knowingly ignored the vegetarian remark, but, unfortunately, failed to carry out such intelligence into the rest of my actions. "Yes, my people hunt. Actually, my clan is well known for our deer harvests."

This was _mostly_ true. Konohians did hunt, and my clan was known for our deer... but we seldom 'harvested' any other part of them other than their antlers. When times were rough we weren't against feeding on some, but I had never taken part in the actual slaughtering of them. Truthfully, unlike many of my knighted friends, I had never purposefully killed a living creature.

Unfortunately, Mother Nature had finally paid me a visit, and not unlike the flashy bucks back home who flaunted their racks in the presence of a doe, all I longed to do was impress this member of the opposite sex.

Temari's eyes perked with the slightest hint of interest, "So you are experienced with a spear, then?"

"Indeed." This was, of course, one of the largest lies I had ever told in my life.

A small smile actually graced this ice queen's features, "Good!" she tossed me a finished make-shift spear, "We'll leave as soon as I finish crafting this one."

* * *

The sun was just now barely starting to peek from the horizon, as Temari and I trudged through the slowly re-warming sand. Though the light was scarce, it was helping leaps in bounds in aiding my vision.

"This time is one of the best for a hunter around here," Temari explained, her voice low so as not to scare away prey, "Almost every creature is either coming out or going into hiding. They are very active now."

I nodded slowly, copying her quiet, delayed movements. I wasn't called a genius back home for shits and giggles.

Abruptly, she stopped in front of me. I opened my mouth to inquire what she was doing, but the glare she tossed over her shoulder stopped me. As her head turned back, I saw caught sight of what she was looking at.

A massive thorny-looking lizard had taken a head start to his day and had lain down in a particularly strong beam of light to bask. He clearly hadn't noticed two humans creeping about.

Now Temari turned back to me, her voice in the softest of whispers, "I will head south, you cover the north."

I nodded slowly once more, an array of alarms going off in my brain. I knew what was going to happen. One of us would eventually spook the lizard (really, no human could hope of sneaking up on a lizard less than half their size without being caught, could they?) and he'd run in a frenzy to get away from us. All I could really do is hope and pray that the bloke would not run towards me.

With extreme caution, I followed Temari's orders, and approached him from the north.

Before I could even focus on aiming my spear, a loud crack resonated from the eastern side of our positions.

Beady black eyes snapped open in an instant, and quickly flew off... in my direction. He quickly took notice of me too, however, and tried to scurry off to the west.

Determined not to loose this chance to earn Temari's respect, I rashly bolted in front of it, thrusting my spear about like a madman. The lizard easily dodged them, weaving around my blind attacks with more speed than I'd ever have.

As I lined my spear up with his head, sure I now had him, I gave my most forceful rush... only to have my spear tip lodged into the ground.

I, trying to be as quick as possible to recover from this grave error, tugged much too gustily once again, and landed square on my back. After which, to add to my mortification, the lizard quite literally clawed his way over my chest and directly to his escape.

He was gone, now. I'd missed him horribly.

I raised my head warily to find Temari giving me a funny look. I didn't blame her. I'd be giving people funny looks if I'd just witnessed them dancing with lizards too.

I looked away, currently unable to deal with my failed attempt to impress her.

That's when I noticed the camel. Apparently, he was fed up with waiting for us back at the cave, and, after gnawing at his reins decided to come looking for us... and in that process, scared the lizard.

The woman followed my eyes, before cursing, "Damn camel. You are all just too smart..." It didn't really sound like she meant it, or at least, the 'damn camel' part. All the evidence he had given me told me he was the smartest camel I had ever met... even if he was the only camel I had ever met.

But when she turned back to me, she was all business. She did not question my 'abilities', though she looked tempted to, but instead signaled me to keep moving.

Thus we continued forwards, the 'damn' camel in tow, after I shouldered my embarrassment and hauled myself up from the sand. I would be carrying much stigma with me throughout the rest of our (though really it was _her_) hunt.

* * *

With the addition of the camel, it wasn't very possible to hunt the 'large' game. Temari, much to my hidden disgust, and open fear, decided then it was best to capture an entire meal of scorpions. Though it further shames me to admit it, I stood in the background, nearly on my toes, when several times she took to digging up these nightmarish creatures and quickly ending them before they ended her.

Her eyes laughed at me each time, but otherwise she spoke not a word.

I would have enjoyed such beautifully lit eyes more had they not been at my expense, but at that point I took, and was happy with, whatever bone she'd throw me.

After catching her choice dozen, she prepared a fire ring in the shade of one of the many gigantic rocks that littered the place. The sunrise had progressed much further into the sky then when we had started. It had to have been nearly four hours she was out hunting, and I was following her and prancing around her prey like an idiot.

Now the scorpions resided, skewered, on a make-shift spit, tailless and headless, but still the worst creatures I had ever come to encounter. Temari was watching them for signs of being done.

In an attempt to break the silence, and perhaps get to know her better, I asked, "Dost thous't people usually eat scorpions?"

Her eyes did not leave the roasting scorpions, but now they looked a bit clouded. She answered without correcting me. Maybe she had gotten used to hearing my 'accent'. "They are more of appetizers, really. Snacks, sometimes..." she added with a little bit of pride, "But, of course, we douse them in spices then. Bland foods are rare. We all enjoy having our food as hot of the sun above us." At this, she smiled reminiscently.

I nodded, her smile making me squirm a bit. There was something about her that had always been spicy to me. Though, I doubt it was purely because that was her, and her people's, preference of flavor.

After a moment, she lifted those brilliant teal eyes of hers to meet mine, smile fading, and finally asked what she had wanted to all morning, "Your hunting methods are strange to me. All of your clan hunts as you do?"

I sighed, it was best for my health not to continue like this. I answered her truthfully, this time, "Nay. I fear I hath steereth thou downst the wrong path. With honesty, I now tell ye I can not really hunt."

I expected her to be angry, but instead my eyes found she had broken out into a wide amused grin (better, I daresay, than the smile before). My heart, another traitorous fool who inhabited my body, skipped a beat. "So," I could tell she was trying to hold out on chortling, "Your act this morning, it was not some odd ritual of Konoha?"

I shook my head, a guilty smile on my lips. Her grin was contagious. "Naught that I knoweth of."

Immediately, I was listening to a booming burst of laughter from the sandy vixen. I found that I did not nearly mind that she was laughing _at_ me, and not with me, like she had stifled before. In fact, something about that laugh made me feel as though I could take flight...

She took her sweet time in letting her chuckles die down. Actually, I had joined in with a few nervous chuckles of my own before she had to stop for air.

"Why ever would you make up something like that?" she asked, still suffering from small bursts of laughter.

I shrugged, guilty grin spreading, "Well, I did naught wish fort thou to think of myself weak," and, after a moment of contemplation, I decided to be strait forward with her from now on. "... and I suppose I only wished to impress thee."

She was in too good of a mood, after such a laugh fest, for my confession to anger her. Actually, as her laughter finally faded, her eyes glittered as she suggested with that grin of hers, "Well, next time, use _actual_ traits of your possession."

"Actually, back home, I am known as Konoha's genius..." I offered none too modestly, though full of embarrassment. No time like the present, I had reasoned.

With one last guffaw, she asked incredulously,"Really? You speak truthfully now?"

"I hath learned my lesson in lying." I confirmed, my hand reaching up to scratch the back of my head.

The look I received afterwards made me think she thought Konoha was just full of idiots. She opened her mouth to reply, but cut herself short with wide eyes.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, swiftly removing the scorpions from the fire. Neither of us had noticed that they were beginning to burn.

I was fine with accepting that they were all hers for eating. She had caught every single one of them... and I really didn't want to find out how they tasted anyway. But when she shoved two of them, mounted on a stick like a shish kabob, into my hands, I didn't have the ability to be rude enough to turn them down.

I watched how she took her own and cracked the roasted beast's shell, a plethora of steam billowing out, before pulling her lips back and using her front teeth to pull out what was inside to chew.

Nauseously, I cracked my scorpion's shell. I did my best not to yak up whatever remained in my stomach at the sight and smell of what was inside.

* * *

It took an enormous amount of willing my gag reflexes to disappear, but eventually, I was able to enjoy a meal with Temari.

After we finished our scorpions, we continued our journey to Temari's homeland. All the while, though, Temari had taken to mercilessly teasing me. Both verbally, and well, physically. I was grateful that she had warmed up to me a bit, but her constant jabs were troublesome.

She was in front once again. Several times I had to tear my eyes from those swaying hips... especially since that white dress she had been forced into in Konoha kept riding up or tearing. I chose to instead observe the camel, in hopes he would take my mind off the feral beauty leading him. But my eyes kept drifting back...

Temari caught me once, staring at the camel. "We are **not** going to eat him, ride him, or search his bags." She spoke, glancing at me suspiciously over her shoulder.

With a cough, I went along with her assumption, "Why is that?"

"I know who owns him," she said pointing to the symbols that were unrecognizable to me, "And he will give us hell if we so much as move what are in those bags... or hurt his expensive carrier of the bags."

I found myself nodding again. I didn't want to kill the brute anyway. He was practically my savior.

With a mischievous smirk, she added, "You can not fuck him either, no matter your frustration."

I nearly died choking on my own spit.

* * *

The sun had come and gone, and I was simply exhausted from today's exertion. It was already colder than it had been the previous night, and being out in the open, I was even more paranoid about the creatures that lurked around here.

Temari had no such problem. In fact, she seemed more carefree, if anything. After we had set up 'camp', she stopped to admire the bright stars that were scattered about the desert sky. With no trees or tall buildings to block them out, they looked much more beautiful than the ones back in Konoha... even though they were exactly the same.

The cold, unfortunately, kept me from taking in their full beauty. Soon I began to violently shiver like only a Konohian used to a warm climate all the time would. Temari, as usual, caught onto this quickly.

This time, however, she did not ignore it. She pulled herself up with the grace of a cat, and, breaking her own rules, rummaged through the camel's bags.

Before I could question her, something firm collided with my face. The blow about knocked my off of my seat.

I looked down into my hands. There laid a blanket, rolled up tightly to ensure it took up little space. I looked up to Temari in surprise.

She simply slid back to her own resting place and said, "We can't have you freezing to death before you even get the chance to be executed."

I rolled my eyes (though I was well aware of the truth in her words) but smiled gratefully. This woman...

* * *

Hello again guys! Happy I didn't die?

I hope no one was offended about Temari's vegetarian remark. You have to understand that people who live in the desert really can't afford to be picky, but will make fun of those who are. :P

A big thank you to those whom have reviewed, and those that will review! I'd like to tell jayjoan that you're currently my favorite, since you've reviewed every chapter payed attention to my little notes down here. c:

Also, we'll be moving towards the action parts very soon! I know you were itching about the summary, and slowly your questions will be answered.

That's all for now folks! ;)


	5. Thy troubles hath only begun

If you see a mistake, make sure to tell me in one way or another ASAP!

* * *

**Chapter 5: Thy troubles hath only begun.**

I awoke much more rested than I had yesterday, even if we had gotten up much earlier. It didn't seem the sun would be peeking out for another few hours.

Temari was unfazed by the lack of ability to see, I discovered, as she had us quickly leaving, exclaiming she wanted to beat the heat today.

Even with my extremely limited knowledge of her at the time, I could still tell this was just an excuse for her to get home faster. We must have been close, judging the excitement in her voice.

I have to admit, I was excited as well. My curiosity about her and her people grew enough to surprise me. Very rarely did a living creature capture my interest for more than an hour or so (by then, I would have concluded enough for the subject to become mundane). This was a rather fresh experience for me.

* * *

A few hours, less than innocent thoughts, and accidental swallowings of sand later, Temari stopped us to declare in a prideful tone, "There she is, just where I left her..."

I strained my eyes to search for what she was speaking of. It was a bit lighter now, the sun was beginning to reveal itself above the dunes and provide some pretty orange rays. Yet, no matter the stress on my eyes, I could not find what she was talking about.

I needn't worry about Temari's sanity in the moments that followed, fortunately.

As we advanced towards wherever she was leading us, more and more came into view. I finally found one reddish-orange brick and traced it to a whole building. Many buildings, actually. A whole village. Kindgom, even.

The majority of these buildings were simple one story structures, but a good amount of them reached impressive heights, one in particular even rivaling the castles of Konoha. Though they were packed in a bit tighter than those of my kingdom, these buildings certainly did not lack in architectural design. They were clearly very sturdy. And in the _desert_, no less.

I was utterly shocked to find how these people could flourish in the desert. I expected the biome to had shifted a bit, even if only slightly, to allow them more livable conditions. But, nay, here they were. It was unheard of...

Then it hit me. The realization felt as if I had been taking a somewhat pleasant stroll nearby Jiraiya's castle, and then a large block of stone tumbled off to give me a nice concussion.

There was only one kingdom that was ever known to be capable of thriving in the desert.

The kingdom of Suna.

Suna and Konoha were not even remotely close to being on good terms. For as long as my elders could bother to remember, we simply _hated_ each other. My mother had constantly told me grotesque stories about the Sunarians when I was younger. I had assumed she just didn't want me to wander off, but even now, as I could be classified a man, she still drilled these horrors into my head. 'They'll slice away the toes from thy feet and prance about with yer scalp slung from their belts!' had taken part of one of her numerous tales.

Suddenly I felt I had started pondering these Sunarian affairs much too late.

"Temari?" I rasped.

"Hmm?" she half-answered. She was still caught up in the bliss of being home again in who knows how long.

"Thou art," my voice fought for me, trying its hardest to keep the disgust and horror out of the word, "A _Sunarian?_"

Gone was the bliss.

She whirled upon me with such ferocity I stumbled back and fell into the sand.

Her now cold teal eyes were narrowed as she spoke in a low menacing tone, "I am a _Sunan_."

This was, obviously, not the first time she had been angry with me. But something about this time made it so much more terrifying. There was something about this side of Temari that told me, despite our agreement, she would murder me in cold blood if I spoke one more negative word against Suna.

Being the genius I am, I nodded to her, eyes wide and openly frightened.

My submission seemed to please her. She visibly eased, though only slightly, still remaining rigid and rather stiff as she tossed me a warning, "Never, _ever_, use that term to describe a Sunan, if you wish to keep your pretty little Konohian head."

I nodded once more, gulping.

* * *

Though I was capable of making out the buildings fairly easily from a distance, it still took some time to actually reach them.

When we finally entered, Temari took on a confident stance: chin up, eyes daring, spine strait, shoulders back, and gripping the camel's lead with more elegance than I thought possible. This woman surely knew her worth.

I on the other hand was not confident at all. I was on the very edge at all times; not only from my experiences with Temari, but from everything Konoha had told me about Suna. I never strayed even a single step from my blonde bombshell of a guide, though tried my best to hide my paranoia from her.

As we walked (more like I shuffled, and Temari strode) in silence, I soaked in every detail I could about my new surroundings. The buildings all seemed to be at peace with their desert habitat; being a part of the land, rather than being obtrusively placed on it as Konohian buildings were. The whole aspect would have been amazing, had I been able to overcome my fear of the 'bloodthirsty' beings that live there.

We were soon approaching the building I had earlier compared with a castle. Up close it seemed, even more, a castle of sorts.

I could only think of the worst: She was about to turn me in to an official that would chop my head of and parade it around town on a spear. Or perhaps they would not even grant me the privilege of dying first. According to my mother's stories, they would rather chain me up to a camel and have it drag me about the streets until I died of blood loss, or head or spinal trauma.

The only shred of hope I maintained was the wishing for my camel savior not to be the same one to kill me.

Though our journey through the streets up to that point had not been populated, I could make out the shape of a short rotund man pacing by what I presumed to be the entrance.

He looked up in shock at the sight of Temari, his mouth even gaping, but quickly recovered, as if he were not suppose to show such surprise. His beady little eyes darted to the camel that padded behind us, and his expression pouted further into anger.

"That camel is _my _property!" he bellowed, his oversized gut and extra chins trembling with his motions, as he marched (more like waddled) towards us.

"Calm yourself, merchant," Temari drawled in a disinterested tone, "I am aware he's yours. You should be thanking this young man for returning him to you."

I raised my brows as she motioned to me. Hadn't she accused me of stealing him as well?

Judging by her tone, and the way she referred to him as 'merchant' instead of his actual name, she'd had less than friendly run-ins with him in the past. He didn't seem like the amicable type, but then again, neither did Temari.

Before he could grumble a reply, Temari pushed the poor creature's lead into his palm, and brushed him off with a simple, "Keep a closer eye on your belongings next time. I always have more important matters to attend to than reprimanding you."

I fully expected Temari's face to be impacted by the heavy and undoubtedly sweaty hand of the merchant immediately after I registered her words in my head. Her sass would definitely not fly in Konoha. But no such blow came. I was at a loss on what to conclude: women were treated with more respect in Suna, or Temari was a very special exception.

Probably both.

Suddenly I felt long slender fingers wrapping around my lower arm, and pulling me into the building. Before my mind slipped into a stupefied puddle of male mush, I managed one dazed look over my shoulder, and found an outraged merchant glaring at us with the intensity of Ino when a rival lover of Sasuke (or any one else she was interested in at the time, really) crossed her path.

Weaving in, around, and out of the hallways of this large castle-like building was simply all a blur to me. It was only after we had arrived just outside of our destination did I become aware of two things.

One: I really should have paid attention on the directions I was going, and taken note of possible escape routes along the way.

And two: Temari had let go of me as soon as the doors were closed behind us.

I was still dumbly touching my arm, where her hand had been, when she turned to me with a businesslike expression and instructed me, "Do not speak unless spoken to. Do not interrupt any speaker for any reason. And," she added extra weight to this last precaution, "Do not even _dare_ to use the filthy language I warned you of earlier."

I was now a hefty amount more nervous than what I had been only seconds ago, but I couldn't help but note Temari cared enough to warn me beforehand.

Or maybe she just didn't want to feel guilty at my execution.

The heavy door that separated us from what I assumed to be some official's office opened much too quickly for my tastes.

Especially when I found out who exactly was on the other side.

"Your majesty," Temari spoke as if the title amused her.

My ever ingenious brain did a double take.

Whoa, whoa, wait, what? She had taken me strait to the king? Was she crazy, or did she have a death wish too?

The man whom she had addressed looked up from his desk, as stunned as I (though for different reasons).

His skin was a pale white, reminiscent of many a powdered womans' face back in Konoha. In stark contrast with this, his hair was a hellish red, the kind of red one only associated blood with. His terrifyingly icy blue eyes were rimmed with the dark edges of many sleepless nights. I could make out some sort of Sunan tribal mark on his forehead.

Though he was much younger than me, I did not doubt his capabilities. The moment his intense gaze silently left Temari's to find my own, I thought he would reveal himself as Lucifer and drag me to hell with him.

Luckily, there was someone else in the room to divert the attention away from me.

"Temari!" a gruff voice called from the left side of the king's desk.

This man, while still menacing in his own way, did not startle me in the same way the red-haired did. He was fairly tall, and bulky with muscle (from decapitating Konohians with his bare hands, my imagination told me). His hair was a muddy brown, and was tussled and messy as if he had just taken a helmet off. Most notable, however, were the tribal markings that adorned his face. A series of symmetrical purple lines over his eyes, cheeks, chin, nose, and mouth.

"Kankuro!" Temari mocked his voice, using what I presumed to be his name.

He sputtered, obviously flustered, "Where- who, what-?"

"We are grateful you have returned to us, Temari," the king stopped Kankuro's fussing short in a low, slow tone that traveled strait up my spine, "But it appears we have other pressing matters to attend to first."

I couldn't see Temari's expression. I only heard her agree, "Of course."

She motioned for me to step forward, explaining, "This is Shikamaru. I found him dying out in the dunes, whilst I trekked my way back."

Much to my discomfort, the king was eyeing me once again. "Tell me, Shikamaru," he leaned forward, placing his chin on folded hands, "How exactly did you end up in the predicament Temari found you in?"

I had learned my lesson of honesty already. I had no intentions of lying to this man. But that didn't mean I couldn't skirt around what might immediately get me killed, for a bit.

"I was traveling with my village's caravans, when we were attacked," I was carefully schooling my voice, trying not to make it seem too Konohian, "I remember naught much. I was knocked out, and woke up alone. A camel saved me, and brought me to Temari."

I should not have bothered, for it wasn't fooling anyone. My short time with Temari was simply not enough to cover up Konohian radiance.

The king now offered me an expression of mild interest, but it was short lived.

"You," spat the brown-haired man, "You are a filthy Konohian, are you not?! You stole the camel, damnit, just admit it! And what have you done to Temari—"

"Kankuro." The youngest, but most powerful, man in the room scolded.

"But, Gaara, he—"

"Enough." King Gaara, as I know knew him, said calmly, temporarily silencing Kankuro.

I found it a bit odd that he did not address Gaara with any sort of formality, but I assumed it was simply another difference between our two kingdoms.

"Our own caravans have repeatedly been attacked, recently." Gaara informed Temari and I, "This is why my brother is pressing the matter." He directed his last comment solely to Temari, "I must confess, however, I share his concerns, regarding Shikamaru."

This was quite a bit to take in. I learned Gaara and Kankuro were brothers, giving me a more accurate reason for the informality before. More importantly, however, was the caravan bit of news. This couldn't be a coincidence, could it?

The last thing to hit me was that the king was now questioning my reliability. I stuttered a bit, trying to redeem myself, "I will offer my services to thee. Together we can explore into the connection between our caravan mishaps—"

King Gaara bluntly ignored me. He, instead, focused his attention to the blonde-haired member of the room.

"You knew of his origin, Temari?"

The woman in question turned her head to the side, and stubbornly frowned. "Yes," she answered, after a pause.

It couldn't have been my imagination. The ghost of a smile, just the faintest illusion of the curling of the sides of his lips, had just graced the almighty king of Suna's face. I was sure of it.

"I will consider your offer, Shikamaru," Gaara's voice was full of calm authority, "But until my decision is made, you must take up residence here as a prisoner in question." He looked back down at the papers on his desk, before adding, "Welcome to Suna."

Kankuro did not seem happy with the lack of my immediate death, but he was content with calling in the guards to take me to my holding cell. He sneered at me, as I left him, Gaara, and Temari to discuss other things.

* * *

I was at least granted the luxury of getting a cell to myself, even if it lacked any and all furniture (I told myself this was better than having a lice-covered, lumpy, wire-framed bed anyway). I was surrounded by three walls, a ceiling, and floor of solid, cold stone. The remaining wall was, of course, where the iron bars that sealed my imprisonment were placed. The odor was unbearable, but I suspected I smelt no better myself. I probably looked just as disgusting as the many stains that covered the walls and floor of this whole prison.

With nothing left to do but give into brooding thoughts, I laid myself flat on my back on the grimy stone floor, and tapped deeper into my ever present brain.

I heard the voices of the other prisoners around me, but they were mostly muffled by the walls of rock that separated us. I suspected I was in a cell especially made to separate captive foreigners from the local lawbreakers. Even here in jail, I still caught air of many an insult directed towards my kingdom.

I wondered if Temari ever made as vivid slurs as these concerning Konoha.

She probably did. I had an odd feeling of sadness at this admittance, but I can't say I blamed her. Konohians made crude jokes about the Sunari— Sunans all the time. Perhaps she was making them now, to Kankuro and Gaara, as I laid here.

What was her connection to them anyway?

This had been eating at me since she barged into the king's office and both men inside immediately recognized her, and even more amazingly, had not thrown _her_ into a cell for her behavior.

She definitely had privileges. But why? Even a young, attractive woman such as herself couldn't get away with just anything...

My next conclusion came upon me with a surprisingly crushing wave of loss and depression: Temari _had_ to be married into the royal family.

It was probably the easiest thing in the world for her to seduce a rich relative of the king, and win herself some special rights. Her victim was most likely Kankuro, too. This would explain why he was so livid when she returned with me in tow...

I was angry with myself for feeling upset over this. Of course she would already be married. There was no logical way for a catch like her not to already be caught. And, not only that, but she was from an enemy kingdom, for Pete's sake. What was I planning to do about that? I should have never had any inclination towards her other than that of survival. Of all the times to be an idiot...

I huffed quietly to myself.

I should have been connecting the caravan incidents during this time. But that woman was crawling beneath my skin.

"Troublesome woman," I grumbled, and would continue to grumble, for the rest of my life.

* * *

How was this one, guys? More plot is here than you may think. ;)

A giant thank you to all of my reviewers. I'd be lost without all of your loveliness. And, this being said, would you guys like me to pm you back (answer) on your reviews? I'm a noob with this whole thing, so I have to learn yet how things are usually done around here.

It may not seem like it, but I feel terrible when I don't post for a long time. I've got everything up in my head, but you guys are left hanging...

So let's inspire each other, yeah? You review more and I'll write faster. c:


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